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Current Headlines - [ view archives ]

Transformers the "FAKE" Movie - [ Bikini Line ]

Countdown to Shit Storm

It's pretty well known that I'm a big Japanese robot and toy buff. I grew up with them, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, I've been hearing way too much about this pseudo movie (I call it that because everything Michael Bay directs can't truly be called anything but doo-doo) that some high and mighty suits have paid the rights for and are dubbing Transformers the Movie.

I'm getting a little sick and tired of all the movie watch, half a**ed unfinished script talks, rumors, and unfounded gossip surrounding this project. While I can appreciate the fan fury revolving around this topic, let's face it this movie is going to suck for all the old school fans. I, for one, do not want to see SoundWave as a helicopter, Megatron as a tank, or Bumble Bee as a corvette. I don't want to see Tyrese, Bernie Mac, Michael Clarke Duncan doing their thing next to Optimus Prime and I don't want to see that kid from Constantine as Spike Witwicky.

This is going to be crap. Everything that Michael Bay touches turns to 110% turd burgers. Yes, there will be explosions, and transforming CG robots, but this is not Transformers. You can't take an established world, rework it to your own whims, and then release it and claim you made your mark. Things just don't work that way.

The original animated movie is the real Tansformers movie. It's the film that single handedly made a generation of kids cry. So many kids remember that movie fondly. Let's hope that this piece of trash that is coming out won't tarnish our memories. --Rice Burner

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Comments

Dude... The Island!

Posted on: Jun 20 2006 - 12:03 by longhairedoffender

Did I mention turd burger?

Posted on: Jun 20 2006 - 01:02 by Rice Burner

The animated movie rocks. Is it on DVD?

Posted on: Jun 21 2006 - 11:21 by fatface

Heck yeah, the animated Transformers the Movie has been out on DVD for over 5 years. I wholeheartedly suggest checking it out --if only for the first 30 minutes. I cried as a kid when the Autobots got slaughtered in the shuttle. I can also recite the entire movie by heart . . .which makes me a uber dork.

Posted on: Jun 21 2006 - 02:46 by Rice Burner

That opening was insane man. An entire planet getting eaten. Then four Autobots getting killed in a matter of a single minute. I cried when IronHide got executed. I admit it. That was freaking cold hearted.

Then having Optimus Prime die!!! WTF, that was trauma. More than when Roy Focker died in Robotech.

Posted on: Jun 21 2006 - 05:56 by Project 2109

That kinda sucks. So there's no way that the movie will be good? Oh well...

Posted on: Jun 21 2006 - 07:29 by Kalell

This movie will Rock! I can't wait for the trailer. There's going to be so many explosions, it's Michael Bay, how can you go wrong! All eight of the transformers will duke it out on earth .... in LIVE ACTION. Get with the times Rice Burner. Corvettes are way faster than a beatle. Megatron as a tank...perfect. Shall we preorder?

Posted on: Jun 22 2006 - 04:12 by Neo Geo

You ripe bastard Neo Geo! LOL

Posted on: Jun 23 2006 - 08:19 by Rice Burner

Transformers the movie is where i found my name "PetroRabbit"

Aw yes, i can still recite the lines that inspired us.

Oh yeah and if you can, look up on Wikipedia for "Universal Greeting"

bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong!

Posted on: Jun 23 2006 - 10:18 by PetroRabbit

Amen, rice burner, Amen.

Posted on: Jun 28 2006 - 01:06 by converter