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Current Headlines - [ view archives ]

Nocturnal Nightmare - [ Celluloid Porn ]

While nothing can ever redeem Steven E. De Souza from the internal damnation of hell for writing and directing the 1993 live action Street Fighter movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, legendary Hong Kong director Wong Jing has actually one upped Souza by adding this atrocious scene in his unlicensed rendition of the popular manga City Hunter. My adolescent fantasies of Chun Li will never ever be the same. I dread the day when Jackie Chan, in drag, will pay me a nocturnal afraid.

-Rice Burner

Yes, be afraid.

comments (10) | post a comment | permalink | email a friend | print



Posted on: Apr 01 2005 - 05:04 by nolife37 from GP forums

Holy F**k'n hell. That images burns!!!!!!

Posted on: Apr 02 2005 - 04:53 by bob

I double dawg dare Tony Ja to do this stunt...on second thought...maybe I don' want to see that.

Posted on: Apr 02 2005 - 04:59 by Project 2901

I saw that movie. That scene was the best part. It alone was better than the entire Street Fighter movie.

Posted on: Apr 05 2005 - 07:22 by Mr. Toups

Sadly, Mr. Toups is right.

Posted on: Apr 05 2005 - 09:10 by Rice Burner

I absolutely have to agree with toups and rice burner. I'm never forgiving Souza for the crap he pulled off. [And forgive me for saying it, but...] I think that even Chris Howes (Resident Evil, AvP) or Brian Singer (X-Men) would have done a better job.

But even if i can't forgive, I just forgot: and with 3 easy steps: 1. Watch Street Fighter 2: The Animated Movie 2. Watch Ong-Bak (Muay Thai movie starring Tony Jaa who in my opinion is a little more sloppier than Jacky Chan in his prime but ultimately kicks ass in his stunts. Ong-bak's film direction totally reminds of the old Jacky Chan but has a lot of ass kicking Street Fighter style!) 3. Play Street Fighter 3 (3rd Strike recommended)

Posted on: Apr 06 2005 - 10:59 by Test Monkey

Dude?...Tony Ja makes Jackie Chan, in his prime, look like a quadriplegic leper who was stricken with Polio since his adolescence. Jackie has sucked major yeti balls for a very long time. As for Street After viewing Ong Bak, and consuming a generous amount of alcohol, I'd rather recreate the chase scene and hospitalize myself...but that's just my own depravity talking.

Posted on: Apr 06 2005 - 02:01 by Rice Burner

Holy F#ckin a and a half what shit is this, Jackie Chan as a Capcom chick

Posted on: Apr 08 2005 - 09:39 by Matt Colwell

holy shit jackie chan is a fag [ im not going too see the movie now . ( just one more look )


Posted on: Apr 11 2005 - 07:40 by slybolinger

im so stoned

Posted on: Apr 11 2005 - 07:42 by slyblinger