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Current Headlines - [ view archives ]

I Wipe My Ass with Hello Kitty - [ Treasure Chest ]

Eat It Kitty, Eat It!
One of the greatest utilitarian inventions mankind has ever conceptualized is the toilet paper. Can you even imagine a world without it? What would we do? How would we smell? Would we pick our butts all day? Would little brown meatballs flow down your pant legs at inopportune times?

Recently I've discovered the best toilet paper ever to be pressed from sacred Shinto-Buddhist trees of Japan--Hello Kitty toilet paper. There's nothing like laying a phat spool of cable and wiping your derriere with that godforsaken capitalisitc devil icon. It's like punching a nun in the gut every time I poo, and it comes in 2 colorful prints. Girls come over and think it's so cute, but in reality, I'm just wiping my buttox on their sacred Satanistic idol. God, I love my toilet paper.--Rice Burner

comments (10) | post a comment | permalink | email a friend | print

Comments

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Posted on: Jun 24 2005 - 09:57 by PetroRabbt

hahahahahahaha......

lafftacular.

Posted on: Jun 24 2005 - 10:13 by Octagon

LOL, almost as good as the osama asswipes

Posted on: Jun 24 2005 - 10:43 by nolife37

"Recently I've discovered the best toilet paper ever to be pressed from sacred Shinto-Buddhist trees of Japan--Hello Kitty toilet paper. There's nothing like laying a phat spool of cable and wiping your derriere with that godforsaken capitalisitc devil icon. It's like punching a nun in the gut every time I poo, and it comes in 2 colorful prints."

Ohhhhh man thats some talented writing... I'm gona add this keeper to my list of all time qoutes.

Posted on: Jun 24 2005 - 04:08 by DeathlessOne

Uhhh...yeah dude. keep wiping your ass....I guess?

Posted on: Jun 25 2005 - 11:41 by Project 2109

Fight the masses, don't wipe your asses!

Posted on: Jun 26 2005 - 02:26 by DeathlessOne

.....right.....okay

Posted on: Jul 02 2005 - 01:37 by chuckles

hahahahaha

Posted on: Jul 07 2005 - 07:25 by eagleman

yuck. . . . while I love your blog, I'll never read it again while I'm eating a burrito

Posted on: Jul 09 2005 - 09:06 by grossedout

WHAT THE HELL!?!? some guy on runescape told me about this site but WERE THE HELL DO YOU GET THIS!!?!?!?

Posted on: Sep 17 2005 - 06:51 by masterfart